Many people don’t believe that their children should have a say in custody arrangements. As adults, they think that they know best and that their children should go along with what they choose. However, this kind of thinking can shut down communication between you and your child.
In reality, it’s better if you and your spouse (or ex-spouse), can sit down together to talk about the arrangements you’re interested in creating. Then you should include your child (if they are of an appropriate age) in the discussion.
How old should your child be before you talk with them about divorce and custody?
Unless your child is extremely young, it’s a good idea to talk about custody and divorce with them in an age-appropriate way. For instance, toddlers would be likely to know there are changes, but they may be unable to ask why. Parents can say simply that they aren’t going to be living together any longer and encourage the child to enjoy time at each home. Parents may want to ask older children their preferences about custody arrangements.
Why should you include your child in custody discussions?
It is a good decision to talk to your child about custody so that you can hear what they have to say. If a teen doesn’t like the plan you and your ex-spouse decide on, it’s important to know why. If there is something you hadn’t thought of, then your child could be raising an important point that you need to hear.
With any family law case, it’s important for your family to grow closer with the changes being made. Even though this is a divorce between you and your spouse, your child is still involved and should have some say in what happens to them.